The spat106 short longform #34

Arch enemies

Sometimes when you have a bunch of enemies they end up conspiring to plot your downfall or at the very least make your life an absolute misery. Making your whole life a misery seems like it is probably worse than plotting a one-off bad situation so me using it as an example of it being the very least thing to expect is not the best example to use but thems the breaks baby. Anyway the National Party were fined $600,000 for using a track similar to Eminem’s Lose Yourself in their 2014 election campaign. $600,000 seems like a lot but that’s what Bill Gates keeps as change in his car to pay the parking meter. This judgement for Eminem was a few days after Winston Peters chose to go with the Labour rather than National to form a government for the next 3 years, thus making Jacinda Ardern Prime Minister. So National lost to a rapper a few days after losing to a DJ, this means their arch enemies are musicians. The music industry shunned the New Zealand National Party once now former Prime Minister John Key’s son Max started to think he was a DJ as well and everyone in the New Zealand music industry said enough is enough Max and the political party you’re connected to!

So it’s not just National and musicians that are arch enemies, here are some more examples of arch enemies trying to ruin one another, please do not mistake my weekly newsletter for one of those Buzzfeed lists, Buzzfeed is my arch enemy or they will be once I have the number of readers to these newsletters in the double digits.

One of the mortal enemies is having fun and any type of strenuous physical activity such as running a long distance such as in marathon. Sure it may look funny in a“fun run” (which is an oxymoron) when someone dressed up in chicken suit takes part. However they will be sweating profusely in that costume and surely the feathers are not aerodynamic so any chance of beating the world record is minimal when someone decides they want to go as poultry. Also running while listening to music that’s playing on your phone via headphones is merely a distraction from how not fun running is. (Please still run as part of fitness and wellbeing, don’t go around saying Sanjay told you to stop running, I’m not a de-motivational speaker unless somebody pays me a lot of money to become one.)

Also an arch enemy to me, yes I’m going to make it personal now, is the word count of these weekly newsletters, I hate to be the hack that goes all meta but that’s the way it is, some things will never change. Those are the words from Bruce Hornsby and the Range from the song The Way It Is. Those particular words came easily, or possibly hard, to Bruce whereas for me it’s the same, as it comes easy and hard for me to write this because you think I may be struggling to get to the ideal minimum number of words to justify the sending of a newsletter and before you know it, bam, somehow I got to the required number of words. Or maybe I didn’t, I just shifted the goalposts, because that’s just the way it is, somethings will never change. Those are the words from Bruce Hornsby and the Range. Did I just repeat myself, maybe I have maybe I haven’t but that’s just the way it is, some things will never change. The change now is my arch enemy has changed from both Buzzfeed & the word count and it’s now people who detest repetition.