The spat106 short longform #32

Never being phased

You should be never phased by the biggest challenge ahead of you, apart from the age old paradox made to any deity of having to make a rock so heavy that they can’t lift it. The All Whites football team which are New Zealand’s national representative team in men’s football, who normally wear white but sometimes black as well, were always going to face the team that finished fifth in the South American qualifiers for the World Cup in men’s football, for a spot in the World Cup in Men’s football being held in Russia in 2018, which is next year. This was always going to be tough because the sport of football in ingrained in the psyche of South Americans as much as making cocaine is. Anthony Hudson though, the manager/coach of the All Whites/man who talks with an English accent is understandably confident that his players would perform well against whoever the team was that NZ would face and in the end it was Peru that finished 5th and will have to play New Zealand in a home and away series to determine who gets a spot in the World Cup in men’s football. Roses are red, violets are blue, All Whites coach is undaunted by Peru. That is a romantic poem that dedicated the New Zealand football scene. The New Zealand football scene is not to be confused with the American Football scene because in the New Zealand football scene (and other countries outside of America) the ball is touched by the foot by all 11 players on the field whereas in the American Football scene the ball is touched on the foot by only one or two of the entire gameday squad of 45.

Anthony Hudson is doing some brave talking because New Zealand is ranked 122nd whereas Peru is ranked 10th in men’s football. That is a very big gap, it’s the Grand Canyon of gaps. The only gap where a gap so large is wanted was two years ago, where having such a big gap between the thighs was trendy. However football is one of a few sports where despite that gap a team like New Zealand has chance to draw or even win. The same thing couldn’t be said in rugby union where the All Blacks taking on the Peru rugby team aka the Perugby team, would be a foregone conclusion. Peru also has its most known celebrity, Paddington Bear to help motivate them in men’s football whereas we have some people from Shortland Street trying to help out the All Whites. Add to that knowing that Peru is where the Incas and potatoes originated from, the All Whites may be phased by all that but here are some things that people can do in their lives to be less stressed out by a situation regardless of whether they’re trying to qualify for one of the final World Cup finals spots or ride a horse Lady Godiva styles.

First advice is to take a deep breath so it calms your nerves but don’t do it loud because you don’t want people around you to assume you’re one of those heavy breathing creeps who phone randoms on the, err phone.

Another thing is to meet that challenge as if it’s the last one you are going to do, or treat it like it’s the first one you are going to do, maybe it’s the one challenge that is somewhere in the middle of the first and last challenges you are going to do, which it will realistically will be. So while your mind is deciding where your challenge is in regards to challenges you’ve faced during your lifetime, the actual challenge itself will not seem as tough to you since your brain is fixated on how it ranks as a challenge.

Standard tangential paragraph: Never being phased means not being shot by a phaser being carried by the crew of the USS Enterprise from the Star Trek series. There is no danger of that ever happening to you as Star Trek is fiction.