The spat106 short longform #29

Expect the expected (the opposite of newsletter 14)

With the election in New Zealand having just taken place, we see that the political party New Zealand First holds the balance of power, they can negotiate to form a government either with the National Party (who got the most votes but not enough for a majority, as its existing allies who have failed to make any impact this election) or with the Labour/Greens block (who have on the back of Labour’s major resurgence this election can form a majority if New Zealand First join them).

There is no written convention that the party with the most votes gets to negotiate first but maybe there’s some unwritten “gentlemen/gentlemen’s” agreement that National will speak to New Zealand First, er first. With that in mind and seeing what the parties had offered up during the campaign we know for sure that the first thing that Bill English will offer Winston Peters is a road. That is the most predictable thing, everyone can put their house on it (a road (that is a pun ( am I allowed to do nested brackets in creative writing or is that solely the domain of computer programming (again domain in that sense is another pun)))).

Funnily enough Bill English who voted against marriage equality now says he is for it but maybe that was knowing that he would have to woo Winston Peters so to side with Winston he will have to offer his hand it marriage. Okay that is probably overboard but for National to get a mandate with New Zealand First Bill English and Winston Peters have to go on a mandate, where a ring or a road, most likely a ring road, will be offered to Winston Peters by Bill English.

So knowing that Bill English will bribe Winston Peters with a ring road, we expect the expected and for any keen readers which I expect there to be none of (I’m expecting the expected (now I’m assuming I’m allowed to do nested brackets)) they will remember that newsletter 14 dealt with expecting the unexpected. So you may think I will effectively write the opposite of what I did for newsletter 14, you can kind of expect that since I used that as the title of this newsletter. However in the expect the unexpected newsletter I did write about expecting the expected so in this newsletter will I have to write about expecting the unexpected even though this is about expecting the expected?

In actual fact the topic basis for this weekly newsletter was meant to deal with something else, which was never having something means the same as you actually losing it ie I didn’t win the $30 million Powerball jackpot draw so people say I’m actually $30 million poorer, but I have got halfway writing about this expected the expected topic and I have unexpectedly surprised myself by writing on a topic that I shouldn’t have been writing about in the first place.

You, my dear readers probably didn’t expect so many brackets (or parentheses if you’re some type of fancy pants wearing fancy pants) in a single newsletter but that’s how I roll baby, chucking out unexpected punctuation like it’s no thang at all. Should I be using the word thang even though I’m not African American? Probably not but that’s how I roll baby, using the word thang like it’s no thang. I’m also wearing no thong, I am wearing normal underwear.